What we wish for most

Self-help gurus tell us to find "balance." Advertisements for spas and chocolate bars urge us to take a moment for ourselves. Unfortunately, this doesn't feel possible for many of the moms we asked.



42% of moms want more timeSo it's not surprising that when asked to choose one thing you wish you could have more of, you picked time (42 percent). Next came money (38 percent). More friends, love, good looks, and nice things barely captured your votes. What would you choose?

Not having enough time to balance the demands of your job and those of your family is your biggest challenge as a mom (16 percent), followed by trying to get enough time to yourself (14 percent).

"Moms are still expected to do the equivalent of a full-time job at home, plus meet the demands of their jobs outside the home," one mom said. "There are just never enough hours in the day to get it all done, let alone have any time to myself."

"I'm too stressed and tired to take care of my kids"Lack of time is also to blame for some of your worst feelings of "mommy guilt." After letting your kids watch too much TV, you said your biggest guilt triggers are not spending enough time with your kids (35 percent), not setting a good enough example with your behavior (33 percent), and working outside the home (27 percent). What makes you feel mommy guilt?

Many moms said that although some modern workplaces are more flexible these days — offering jobs that are part-time, at home, shared, and so on — most don't respect the realities of your priorities as a mom.

"I fear that I'll have to work even more and have less time with my kids," said one mom. "Where does the enjoyment come in? We're practically strangers. This isn't what I signed up for!"

"I worry that I'm not a good mom," said another. "I'm too stressed and too tired to take care of my kids."